Let's face it, a blog isn't a blog without an ode to the broken hearted. Don't forget, you are not alone, a writers strength is to write from experience. This is my current experience for you in the hopes that it will help you as much as it has helped me.
To begin, I want you to do an exercise with me. It will sound silly, but trust me, desperate times call for desperate measures. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Really fill your lungs with the much deserved air they need. Let them expand until they can't anymore and then release in a slow controlled motion. If you need to, do it one more time and really cherish that inhale and exhale in a fluidity that allows you to feel alive. Clear your head of all the clutter and remember I am here with you.
Breaking up is a grieving process. It is essentially the loss of someone that was once very special to you. So, don't feel ashamed that you're sad. It is healthy and in time the sadness will subside. In the mean time, it is ok to cry and feel down. You're going to not be yourself for a little while but this is why friends and family are here. Don't be afraid to lean on people.
Here is where I will challenge you. Yes, it is going to hurt, but I want you to time yourself. Allow yourself to be sad for 15 minutes today. At the end of 15 minutes I want you to get up and go take care of yourself. This will be a scary thought, because if you're like me, your significant other becomes your world. But, don't allow them any more satisfaction or any more of your tears than necessary. When that piece is taken out of the picture, that is when you can really focus on the person who matters the most, and that is you.
What are your hopes and dreams? What are the things you'd like to accomplish most in this life? Make a list if you need to. Write down all the things you hope to experience. It could be something small like visit a winery with friends or something crazy like go sky diving with co-workers. It doesn't matter the size or longevity, write it down so you can see it. Then, ask yourself this question. Would you be able to accomplish these goals if your ex was still in the picture? If you are in my situation, then the answer is no. I would not have had the courage to step out of my comfort zone and apply for my Masters, gain a raise at my place of employment, travel to new places and achieve the physical success of a healthy toned body. It took some time for myself to realize that I was being held back from the person I so desperately wanted to become. I wanted to be successful financially, intellectually, and physically. I was not able to do all this while in the relationship I was in. In time, you will realize the same and become enlightened by the inner strength that you've had all along.
I do not know your story fully, but I do know that you are special. There is no one in the world who is exactly like you. You are the purest form of you and no one can take that away or change it.
I also understand how much it hurts when the person you love can dispose of you so easily with no regard as to what you're going through. Again if you're like me, you have the constant movie reel playing out the future steps of your life with that person. From your wedding, to your babies, to your first dates, to the cute smiles in the mornings, all the way to the lovely gifts on holidays.
Now stop, you are the Director of your life and the movie reel playing in your head, is not real. If life were to end up the way you have it played and scored out in your head, then the break up never would have happened. Don't allow yourself to be sucked into moments of untruth. When you feel the movie begin to play, shake it off, and remind yourself how much you deserve better.
You deserve a partner, not a side-kick or anything less than what you have to offer. You deserve someone who is willing to stand by your side through thick and thin to share all your ups and downs on their own good intentions. When someone loves you, I mean really loves you, they will do everything in their power to see you happy and successful. A partner should not hold you back or make you feel guilty for being who you are. You want someone who brings out the best part of you. If your ex was not capable of seeing or appreciating you, then good riddens to them.
You are stronger than you think you are and remember no pain lasts forever. Give yourself time to grieve but allow yourself time to grow. Now is the time to think about you. It's ok to be sad, but once you're done feeling sad go accomplish all the things you have yet to experience.
I believe in you and will be here for your support if you feel you have no one to turn to. You are not alone.
Take care my lovely fans.
Xoxo
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