As the days close in on another week, and the sun sets from a beautiful weekend, I felt it necessary to share a recent experience of mine. Now, this experience was the result of many series of unfortunate events and had me remembering that there are kind people out there in the world still.
Let's start at the beginning. Since the end of March I had been undergoing a breakup with my other half that grew into a continuation of a lovely relationship. All breakups leave a party member damaged and even though my love was still strong (as is his) the recovery rate of a bounce back is notoriously longer than the healing of a breakup alone. You must account for the process of building back the trust and recuperating from the hurt. This has thrown me a little out of whack but I am confident things will turn out well.
Adding on to the pile is always, stress at work. When projects are moving at light speed, every little bump in the road becomes a launch into chaos and back. It doesn't make it any easier when members of your team feel entitled to treat others poorly. Thus, making a simple task an unnecessarily difficult one. When you have this going on for 2 weeks straight, any normal human being would begin to short circuit and slip into madness...and I started doing exactly that.
I felt trapped and alone. Like I wasn't smart enough or strong enough to hold my position at work. Like my inexperience prevented me from obtaining respect in the office. From there I felt like maybe it was because I didn't look the part. I tried to experiment with different "business attire" looks in order to command that level of respect I was looking for. Nothing seemed to be working. I wasn't feeling it. I thought maybe it was my hair, or my make-up, or something...but I knew I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt like I was losing myself and the person I am wasn't good enough to be in the field I'm in. I'm a nerd but social, laid back but neurotic, simple but complex, understanding but an over thinker, all these things made me feel like I wasn't meshing.
I decided to take it out in other areas. Some filtered to my other half but he wore that burden well and showed me support like I couldn't believe. Another filter was the gym. I pushed myself as hard as I could so I could feel something other than disappointment with myself. I knew I was good at being healthy and active. I took advantage of that side of me. I cranked up the intensity on all my workouts and would sweat like a beast. I didn't care what anyone thought. I wasn't at the gym to make friends or prowl on unsuspecting men like many of the girls that go to the gym I attend. I was there to de-stress and to sculpt my body into something I knew I could be proud of. I was there for me.
As I was leaving the gym on a Thursday night, I was taken by surprise. Not only will this moment have me thinking twice about going places alone but also will remind me of the kindness of strangers. It was late on this particular night, and I had just sat down in my car to get ready to go. Keys in the ignition, locked the doors, and was about to turn on the radio when I heard knocking on my drivers side window. Confused and concerned I focused in on my disturber and quickly tried to analyze if I was in immediate danger. I rolled down my window slowly and placed my hand on my gear shift.
It was a young guy, probably in his early 30s, in a purple stripped shirt with skinny jeans that if we had been friends I'd highly recommend he'd never wear again, and matching purple sneakers. He had a little spare tire in the front, an industrial ear piercing, and I noticed quickly a tongue ring as he stammered and stumbled his way through the following sentence.
"Hi there, I'm so s-sorry to startle you but I, I, I, I just really wanted to tell you that, I noticed you at the gym, and you're just so beautiful, I was hoping we c-could exchange numbers and um, uh, get together sometime."
I was so taken aback by this that I froze for a moment. Mainly because I needed to quickly switch gears from potential attack/survival mode to socializing mode. Having my other half on my mind, I had to let the poor guy down as sweetly as I could. We spoke for a few minutes and parted ways. As odd as that encounter was, he was very respectful of my turning him down. I was extremely flattered by this and drove away smiling.
It was nice that even in my darkest hour, a complete stranger still saw all of my best qualities and was brave enough to share it with me. The kindness of this stranger was very much appreciated and was a nice additional pick me up to an extremely stressful few weeks.
I feel very blessed to have all of the wonderful people in my life that I do, and would like to take this moment to give them a public thank you to show them how much I appreciate them.
Hope you all enjoyed your weekend and remember there are still good people out in the world.
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