Surprised by the Kindness of Strangers

As the days close in on another week, and the sun sets from a beautiful weekend, I felt it necessary to share a recent experience of mine. Now, this experience was the result of many series of unfortunate events and had me remembering that there are kind people out there in the world still.

Let's start at the beginning. Since the end of March I had been undergoing a breakup with my other half that grew into a continuation of a lovely relationship. All breakups leave a party member damaged and even though my love was still strong (as is his) the recovery rate of a bounce back is notoriously longer than the healing of a breakup alone. You must account for the process of building back the trust and recuperating from the hurt. This has thrown me a little out of whack but I am confident things will turn out well.

Adding on to the pile is always, stress at work. When projects are moving at light speed, every little bump in the road becomes a launch into chaos and back. It doesn't make it any easier when members of your team feel entitled to treat others poorly. Thus, making a simple task an unnecessarily difficult one. When you have this going on for 2 weeks straight, any normal human being would begin to short circuit and slip into madness...and I started doing exactly that.

I felt trapped and alone. Like I wasn't smart enough or strong enough to hold my position at work. Like my inexperience prevented me from obtaining respect in the office. From there I felt like maybe it was because I didn't look the part. I tried to experiment with different "business attire" looks in order to command that level of respect I was looking for. Nothing seemed to be working. I wasn't feeling it. I thought maybe it was my hair, or my make-up, or something...but I knew I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt like I was losing myself and the person I am wasn't good enough to be in the field I'm in. I'm a nerd but social, laid back but neurotic, simple but complex, understanding but an over thinker, all these things made me feel like I wasn't meshing.

I decided to take it out in other areas. Some filtered to my other half but he wore that burden well and showed me support like I couldn't believe. Another filter was the gym. I pushed myself as hard as I could so I could feel something other than disappointment with myself. I knew I was good at being healthy and active. I took advantage of that side of me. I cranked up the intensity on all my workouts and would sweat like a beast. I didn't care what anyone thought. I wasn't at the gym to make friends or prowl on unsuspecting men like many of the girls that go to the gym I attend. I was there to de-stress and to sculpt my body into something I knew I could be proud of. I was there for me.

As I was leaving the gym on a Thursday night, I was taken by surprise. Not only will this moment have me thinking twice about going places alone but also will remind me of the kindness of strangers. It was late on this particular night, and I had just sat down in my car to get ready to go. Keys in the ignition, locked the doors, and was about to turn on the radio when I heard knocking on my drivers side window. Confused and concerned I focused in on my disturber and quickly tried to analyze if I was in immediate danger. I rolled down my window slowly and placed my hand on my gear shift.

It was a young guy, probably in his early 30s, in a purple stripped shirt with skinny jeans that if we had been friends I'd highly recommend he'd never wear again, and matching purple sneakers. He had a little spare tire in the front, an industrial ear piercing, and I noticed quickly a tongue ring as he stammered and stumbled his way through the following sentence.

"Hi there, I'm so s-sorry to startle you but I, I, I, I just really wanted to tell you that, I noticed you at the gym, and you're just so beautiful, I was hoping we c-could exchange numbers and um, uh, get together sometime." 

I was so taken aback by this that I froze for a moment. Mainly because I needed to quickly switch gears from potential attack/survival mode to socializing mode. Having my other half on my mind, I had to let the poor guy down as sweetly as I could. We spoke for a few minutes and parted ways. As odd as that encounter was, he was very respectful of my turning him down. I was extremely flattered by this and drove away smiling.

It was nice that even in my darkest hour, a complete stranger still saw all of my best qualities and was brave enough to share it with me. The kindness of this stranger was very much appreciated and was a nice additional pick me up to an extremely stressful few weeks.

I feel very blessed to have all of the wonderful people in my life that I do, and would like to take this moment to give them a public thank you to show them how much I appreciate them.

Hope you all enjoyed your weekend and remember there are still good people out in the world.

Give Me Some More Time in a Dream

"It was as simple as that. From then on, we stopped being a family, and became a family. In italics."

Abed couldn't have said it better, especially with the recent speculations of Chevy Chase's involvement in the NBC cult series Community. Despite all that has occurred during this last season, the cast and crew held strong in finishing up an amazing chapter of comedy history.

I'm sure you've noticed by now that our favorite love-to-hate-him character, Pierce, hasn't exactly had the spotlight in recent episodes. Luckily, the creativity and brilliance of the behind-the-scenes minds are working their magic to keep the story lines continually flavorful.

Intro to Felt Surrogacy, aired on April 11th, has made it to my top 10 favorite episodes and it took me about 5 times of viewing when I finally realized, "Wow! Pierce isn't really in this episode." What a smooth transition! Kudos to the writers, you sucked me in (like always) and the flow was so mellifluous that I didn't notice the up-coming change.

Wait, did she just say change? 

Fear not my fellow Communticans, Dan Harmon is (or really, was) hard at work ensuring for the smoothest season finale and conclusion to our favorite cult sensation. With the talent of the cast and intelligence of the writers, along with the rest of the behind-the-scenes crew, I believe we will not be disappointed.

So, what's really going on? What happened with Chevy and Dan?

Fellow cult series Community fans, it is official, Chevy Chase will no longer be a member of the cast, along with Dan Harmon no longer being a member of the crew.

"...it isn't called friend business. It's called show business."

Not only were Abed's actions cold during episode 3 of season 1, but so were Chevy Chase's and NBC/Sony Entertainment's. Just goes to show when you go up against legend Dan Harmon, you're not going to walk away victorious or without a canceled show.

The much publicized battle between Chevy and Dan, along with Chevy's notorious outbursts during filming, such as his dropping of the N-word in the presence of co-stars Yvette Nicole Brown and Donald Glover, have ultimately led to their demise on this epic comedy series.

Unfortunately, creator Dan Harmon also got the boot from higher ups at NBC/Sony Entertainment.

Whaat?!

It appears that Harmon's stubbornness in taking direction to make the show more main stream and his lack of management in handling co-star Chase, later led to his demise on the series as well. 

Can we blame him though for stetting the push to move towards a mainstream concept? The guy is a genius. I'm not sure how many creators can incorporate gangsters, zombies, clay-mation, paintball, puppets, musicals, paranormal activity, and puppies all in one complete series. AND have the story lines ALL make sense!

Not to worry though, we Communticans acknowledge the level of awesomeness of the series and would like to take this moment to say thank you to all who are a flavor in the delicious Community pie (yes, even you Chevy Chase). 

You can guarantee I will be adding season 3 and season 4 to my collection with special Community themed nights to celebrate the series lifetime. 

The Misadventures of Little Miss Jessica

I was one of those kids who always did what their parents asked of them because I never wanted to let my parents down. So I'd always look both ways before crossing the street and I'd always babysit my sister when asked. In doing so, my young childhood life was a very successful one.

One of the main things I remember my Mother saying over and over again growing up is, "don't talk to strangers because stranger danger is real." As a kid, my initial reaction was, "yea, yea uh huh" always brushing it off because I never thought anything bad would ever happen to me. I must say, my naive teenage self was extremely lucky when faced with a situation I will describe below.

It was my first month in our new house. My family lived just around the corner on both sides. One Aunt lived behind me, the other lived down the road, and my Uncle lived 2 houses away across the street. All in all, I felt pretty safe and snug in my new environment.

The sun was blazing, the pool was like bath water, and my sister was relaxing on the lawn chairs while I ran inside to answer the phone.

"Hi, this is Ashley, your neighbor across the street." said the other voice on the phone.
"Hi Ashley, how can I help you?"
"Well, my oven is busted and I was wondering if I could use your oven to make banana bread."

...I paused for a moment. What an odd request of someone.

"Umm, well my Mom isn't home and I'm not sure she'd want any company here while she's out." 

(This was mistake number one, you never want to tell or even slightly allude to anyone that you're home alone) 

"Don't worry, I know your parents and I won't be long, I'll drop off the bread, let it bake, then come back later." - said the voice in a calm manner. 

My young 13 year old mind was at peace with how youthful the voice sounded and didn't feel an initial threat.

"Ok, that's fine, I'll be waiting."

"Ok, see you soon."

Mistake number 2 was that I never asked any more questions about this person. I felt the act was harmless since the voice sounded safe. So, I told my sister and we waited by the window for "Ashley" to come. 

From my window I had a clear view of my Uncle's house (that's how close we lived to each other) and as I glanced out the window I saw a young woman walk up their steps with a big pan in hand. I thought to myself, was this Ashley? She's at the wrong house if it is and she'll probably be embarrassed.  I saw my cousin, who is a year older than me, answer the door. The conversation exchange was obvious, my cousin had pointed Ashley in the direction of my house. 

As she was walking over, she looked small, maybe about 5 foot 2 in height with messy blond hair falling out of a bun on the side of her head. She wore sweats and seemed unkempt at first glance but as she got closer her make up said otherwise. I didn't feel scared, I didn't feel nervous, and I didn't feel worried. I felt sorry for her. She seemed like a lost soul just looking to cook a banana bread, probably for a boy that she so desperately wanted to be her boyfriend.

"Hello, Ashley"
"Hiiii!" she said elongating her hello with an undertone of embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, I thought you were in the other house up the road."

...I paused and slight red flag rose. She didn't know who's house she was going to?

"That's ok, come on in. I have the oven set for you."

"Perfect! Thank you so much again."

She moseyed her way in as I directed her to the kitchen were I had everything all ready to go. I wanted her in and out with no room for too much small talk. I couldn't bear to lose any more time in the sun. She put her small beat up banana bread pan in the oven then stood proudly and smiled. 

"It should be done in about 20 minutes. If you don't mind, I need to leave and go get ready. I will set a timer on my phone and return shortly. Thank you again!"

The next thing I knew she was out the door. I didn't think anything of it and wandered around until I heard the timer go off. Sure enough, no more than 5 minutes later, Ashley was on her way back down the road towards my house. 

As I was walking towards the door, she already beat me there and walked right in.

"Uhh, hello again." I said as nonchalantly as possible in an attempt to hide my dislike of her abrupt entrance. 

"Hello! I brought an extra plate to share the banana bread with you." as she pulled the bread out of the oven she quickly sliced a piece and left it on the plate near the sink. "Thank you so much again! I have to run, please tell your Mother I said hello!"

I remember thinking after the entire event happened, how strange this woman was. What really hit home for me was when I told my Mother about it. She nearly flipped inside out when I told her I hosted a stranger in our house. My Mother called Ashley to find out more details and it turns out she actually knew my Aunt and Uncle that lived up the road. Remember the house she stopped at when my cousin answered the door? She was actually half right. She just had the number wrong.

Let's just say, I made out very lucky with this encounter and my Mother (and Father) let me know this many times. I never did such a thing again.

Sometimes Love Comes Around and it Knocks You Down

For all my heart broken fans, check it and dance it out

I'm here for you!

Xoxo

Knocks You Down

Heal the Heart Within You

I'd like to take this time to write to my fan base who are going through a break up.

Let's face it, a blog isn't a blog without an ode to the broken hearted. Don't forget, you are not alone, a writers strength is to write from experience. This is my current experience for you in the hopes that it will help you as much as it has helped me. 

To begin, I want you to do an exercise with me. It will sound silly, but trust me, desperate times call for desperate measures. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Really fill your lungs with the much deserved air they need. Let them expand until they can't anymore and then release in a slow controlled motion. If you need to, do it one more time and really cherish that inhale and exhale in a fluidity that allows you to feel alive. Clear your head of all the clutter and remember I am here with you. 

Breaking up is a grieving process. It is essentially the loss of someone that was once very special to you. So, don't feel ashamed that you're sad. It is healthy and in time the sadness will subside. In the mean time, it is ok to cry and feel down. You're going to not be yourself for a little while but this is why friends and family are here. Don't be afraid to lean on people. 

Here is where I will challenge you. Yes, it is going to hurt, but I want you to time yourself. Allow yourself to be sad for 15 minutes today. At the end of 15 minutes I want you to get up and go take care of yourself. This will be a scary thought, because if you're like me, your significant other becomes your world. But, don't allow them any more satisfaction or any more of your tears than necessary. When that piece is taken out of the picture, that is when you can really focus on the person who matters the most, and that is you. 

What are your hopes and dreams? What are the things you'd like to accomplish most in this life? Make a list if you need to. Write down all the things you hope to experience. It could be something small like visit a winery with friends or something crazy like go sky diving with co-workers. It doesn't matter the size or longevity, write it down so you can see it. Then, ask yourself this question. Would you be able to accomplish these goals if your ex was still in the picture? If you are in my situation, then the answer is no. I would not have had the courage to step out of my comfort zone and apply for my Masters, gain a raise at my place of employment, travel to new places and achieve the physical success of a healthy toned body. It took some time for myself to realize that I was being held back from the person I so desperately wanted to become. I wanted to be successful financially, intellectually, and physically. I was not able to do all this while in the relationship I was in. In time, you will realize the same and become enlightened by the inner strength that you've had all along.

I do not know your story fully, but I do know that you are special. There is no one in the world who is exactly like you. You are the purest form of you and no one can take that away or change it.

I also understand how much it hurts when the person you love can dispose of you so easily with no regard as to what you're going through. Again if you're like me, you have the constant movie reel playing out the future steps of your life with that person. From your wedding, to your babies, to your first dates, to the cute smiles in the mornings, all the way to the lovely gifts on holidays. 

Now stop, you are the Director of your life and the movie reel playing in your head, is not real. If life were to end up the way you have it played and scored out in your head, then the break up never would have happened. Don't allow yourself to be sucked into moments of untruth. When you feel the movie begin to play, shake it off, and remind yourself how much you deserve better. 

You deserve a partner, not a side-kick or anything less than what you have to offer. You deserve someone who is willing to stand by your side through thick and thin to share all your ups and downs on their own good intentions. When someone loves you, I mean really loves you, they will do everything in their power to see you happy and successful. A partner should not hold you back or make you feel guilty for being who you are. You want someone who brings out the best part of you. If your ex was not capable of seeing or appreciating you, then good riddens to them. 

You are stronger than you think you are and remember no pain lasts forever. Give yourself time to grieve but allow yourself time to grow. Now is the time to think about you. It's ok to be sad, but once you're done feeling sad go accomplish all the things you have yet to experience. 

I believe in you and will be here for your support if you feel you have no one to turn to. You are not alone. 

Take care my lovely fans. 

Xoxo 

Dive into Majesty

Think of paradise. What's the first thing that pops into your head? Well, I'll tell you what I see. Palm trees, crisp warm beaches, breathing taking blue oceans with soft waves crashing on the shore line. But, what's underneath the water's surface? What goes on under the top layer of beauty that are eyes are unable to see and our bodies unable to experience naturally?

One creature (more specifically) that I'm sure crosses everyone's mind when thinking of the deep dark spaces of the ocean is, the great white shark. With 17 feet of robustness, rows of teeth each 4 inches wide and a bite force of over 800 pounds...what's not to be mesmerized about? Without opposable thumbs or fingers in general, it leaves the mouth for feeling. From warning bites to full on attacks, what a magnificent creature indeed.

With so much power and a lack of understanding behavior, it makes sense to fear a creature of this magnitude. Let's not forget the most famous great white of all, Bruce! Our lovable character from the cinematic masterpiece we all know as the film Jaws has made a particularly large impact on the shark community. 

Wait, did she just say "lovable"?

You all can close your jaws now (pun intended), I did indeed say lovable. Let's not forget that without the great white our water ecosystems would be running a muck. Everything needs a natural order to keep the balance. Just like the lions must eat the antelope on land, sharks must do their thing and survive in the ocean.

When we cross those borders and take those steps from land to sea, we are ultimately taking our first steps onto another world. When you accept this concept, you'll learn to respect how incredible aquatic life is, from its cute little sea lions to its odd looking flounders all the way to the majestic great white. Unfortunately, attacks do occur and some are undeniably horrifically tragic. My heart goes out to all those who lost their loved ones due to this circumstance. I do hope this does not leave your hearts with hatred for these creatures, but instead with respect and more understanding as to how precious life truly is.

Even though it's only March, I'd like to begin preparation of the best week in summer, Shark Week! A week dedicated to the education and further acknowledgement of the glorious species known as the shark. I'd also like to take this moment to express my hatred of shark finning. The shark is a severely misunderstood animal but every day we get closer and closer to knowing their behavior and overall survival mechanisms. No animal deserves to have their limbs and body parts cut off for a leisurely dining experience. I believe this is inhumane and needs to be stopped. Would you cut off your dog's ear to make soup? ... I didn't think so.

To learn more about these amazing animals, check out these sites

http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/fish/great-white-shark/
http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/vertebrates/Doug/shark.html
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/subjects/sharks/species/Greatwhite.shtml

Enjoy and open your horizons to understanding what you fear most, whether it be sharks or even the dark. The best way to beat your fear is to know your fear. If you're like me, your level of respect will result in someday hopefully having the opportunity to experience a one on one encounter with a great white (from the safety of a cage of course). ;-) Once I do, I will be sure to share my findings and experience overall.

It's People You Need a Manual For

An epidemic I've had the unfortunate pleasure of experiencing is that of what is known as the "kid-dult" era. For those of you that are scratching your heads at the moment, a "kid-dult" is a combination of a kid and an adult. For example, an individual may be over the age of 25 but still they act as if they are just turning 13.

Obviously, I can pin point this more onto the male species than I can the female. Females have an innate nurturing side that allows us to grow and develop much faster than males both mentally and physically. We understand there is a time frame in which to accomplish what we'd like and we understand that there are sacrifices that need to be made in order to achieve a majority of those things (whatever they may be). We are born planners and born with an understanding of the world that goes lightyears beyond the grasp of men.

The unfortunate side is the biological obstacle that all women must face that men do not understand.  What they don't seem to get is, the older we get the less likely we are able to accomplish the goal of having a family. The 50% of the trade men have to donate can be spit out at almost any point in their lives. There is no pressing matter or feelings or emotions. Women on the other hand, are said to lose more than half of our eggs by the time we reach 30. That's more than half percent less of a chance of conceiving and more than half percent chance of complications when trying.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all women want to have families because it may not be the case for some women. I'm also not saying all men are not emotionless selfish yuppies, because there are some really wonderful men out there. My rant goes along with the majority and not the exception.

The majority are looking at what's currently in the media and leading the way, justifying the rise of the kid-dult. We have television shows that encompass main characters in their mid-30s that are lolli-gagging around doing comical things along the way. When I look back, I believe that is what your young 20s are for. The years of 25 and below should be spent traveling and experiencing new and beautiful things. Growing in the sense that prepares you for your late 20s. So, it becomes a controlled exploring experience. Recklessness is only performed by the traveling fool who pretends to be open but actually is very afraid of the concept. This is why seeing these characters in their mid-30s perform absurd acts is in fact so hysterical. Because they are in their 30s and still don't seem to have it together.

I'd like to break away from this fad and say, I don't want to end up still figuring it out while I'm in my 30s. I think it is silly to cater to the illusion that we have all this time. When in fact, time is very fragile and limited. I believe it is necessary to live because every day given is a blessing, what I don't believe in  is taking advantage of a good thing when it comes. So little good things come into our lives during this short time we have on earth that it's foolish to let them go. If you find your perfect match when you're 22, don't let it go because you're scared of the future. Conquer the future together with the person you know will stand by your side, from shitty economies to zombie apocalypses. If you find a good job that provides you with a starting point, don't let it go because you get frustrated. Especially with the state the current world is in right now, jobs are few and far between.

I understand the need to be selfish and accomplish your dreams before you take on the responsibility of another person. To play devil's advocate, if your significant other takes the back seat when it comes to your world maybe it's time to do some reevaluating. Either adjust your world and include the people that mean the most to you or continue being selfish.

The choice is yours, will you be another kid-dult or will you be someone better?